People Upset at Homosexuality Getting in the Way of Enjoying Wholesome Bestiality and Stockholm Syndrome

Friday, March 17th Disney's live action Beauty and the Beast is set to hit local theaters across America, well unless you live in Alabama, that is. Ever since word broke that maybe, just maybe Gaston's ride or die, pint-sized henchman, LeFou will be gay the internet went absolutely bonkers.

Most notably on March 2nd son of televangelist Billy Graham, Franklin Graham, called for a public boycott of the retelling of the classic fairy tale claiming, "They're (Disney) trying to push the LGBT agenda into the hearts and minds of your children—watch out!" Someone even made a change.org petition to try and convince Disney to pray away the gay from the film before it hits American theaters. Like most things the petition page has a comment section, and boy is this one is a doozy. This feels like a good place to start:

This thought honestly fascinates me. Upon first glance with zero context it almost comes off as the critical musings of a purist. Like when they made that A Series of Unfortunate Events movie. It was so terrible and they took so many liberties that I would never plan on showing the film to any potential future children of mine because it's a bastardization of a literary series that was near and dear to my heart for years.

But this is definitely not the same thing. Let's just take a second to remember the story here that one gay moment seems to shatter the morality of and warp it into something so perverse that they don't want their child to see it.

At the end of the day the iconic imagery of Beauty and the Beast is a young woman in a yellow dress inches away from her first kiss with the buffalo-man who imprisoned her indefinitely as part of a plan to make her fall in love with him so that he would no longer be cursed. 

Super wholesome.

But let's dig a little deeper here.

There's the openly homophobic, nonsensical line of commentary I was waiting for! So let's just reexamine what the film is about and say it a little louder for the people in the back. I'm even going to use the same photo from the film as a couple of paragraphs up because honestly this whole thing pretty much explains itself.

People think the LeFou thing is the first sign of any potential "sexual perversion" here, but just look. He. Is. A. Buffalo. Man. Not only is he a buffalo-man, but he is a buffalo-man who is obviously killing the date night game. But not only is he a buffalo-man who is killing the date night game, but he is a buffalo man who is killing the date night game with the young woman he imprisoned. As much as I loved Beauty and the Beast growing up and intend to see this version, underneath "Be Our Guest" and "Tale as Old as Time" the actual story here is not wholesome or family friendly. Saying that a minor character's homosexuality is perverse, let alone the only sign of sexuality in this story is just plain silly. Falling in love with a buffalo-man is acceptable. Stockholm Syndrome with your buffalo-man captor is cool and something to totally get the kids into, but one man having some feelings for another man is seen as perverse, overtly sexual, and icky. Why is it that the Beast's desire for Belle is seen as appropriate and a storybook romance, but LeFou potentially desiring Gaston is just the worst thing? Don't answer that. We all already know.